Even The Worst Events Have Their Benefits
by HannahLouiseHarvey
Summary: Rachel, is having a really hard time, her daddy left, so her dad is taking his anger out on her, Jesse has turned the glee club against her, and then just when she thought things could improve, She is raped. Can Puck admit he has always liked her?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

It was dark except for the single spotlight and as I open my mouth the audience were captivated and as I finish they stand and begin chanting my name, "Rachel, Rachel, RACHEL," I awoke with a start, that was not a voice I wanted to hear. My dad, was a bitter and twisted man. He bullied me, and beat me, and until now, I had managed to put up with it, because I thought that I had friends. I was in the glee club at school and it was the one place where I could be myself, and sing and dance and simply have fun.

Of course that had changed dramatically since I got with Jesse. It's always been deemed bad to 'sleep with the enemy' so to speak, but I had hoped that since Jesse was now in my glee club and not his own then they would accept him and we could all be friends. But what has happened was far worse than I could have ever imagined. Jesse, has turned the whole club against me. They only talk to me if absolutely necessary, and I now rarely get any solo parts, and I don't have the energy to fight for them anymore.

Jesse was wonderful at first, and was indeed a distraction from Finn, who I have since got over and moved on from. But now he is the boyfriend from hell, and I have no one to talk to about it, and if I'm honest I'm worried that if I do tell someone they will simply tell me that they told me so. My dad's yells got louder and soon he was banging my door so loud and so hard that it came off the hinges. "I have called you for two minutes now, I want you to make me breakfast," he spat as he pulled me out of the bed, by my hair.

"Get dressed, you have school, today," he said and he left me to it. Christmas had come and gone and it was now a new term and a new year, I couldn't help but feel apprehensive. I got dressed in my usual skirt and sweater and made my way downstairs. I hurriedly made my dad his breakfast and left as soon as possible. "RACHEL," yelled my dad. "This was disgusting, you really are pathetic, no wonder your daddy left us,"  
"Are you sure it wasn't because of you," I whispered, but of course he had to hear me.  
"You worthless little slut," he yelled, as he struck me across the face. "It was definitely because of you that he left, now get to school, and I swear if you get anything lower than an A+ on your results today you'll get it,"

I walked out of the door and checked my face in the mirror there was a red mark slowly developing on my cheek, I took out my makeup and covered it up with some expertise, Jesse had done this to me many times before and so I knew how to hide it. I was thankful when I got to school that he wasn't here, but as I got out of my car, the butterflies multiplied in my stomach until it felt like there was a swarm of bees in there. "Hey Manhands, glee meeting at lunch you better be there," Santana said bitchily.  
"Of course I'll be there," I said.  
"No she won't," a voice, Jesse appeared behind me.  
"Fine but, be prepared for the angry mob coming your way," Santana said as she walked off.

"If you go to that meeting, I swear what your dad did to you today will be so much worse," Jesse spat at me. "Meet me outside at lunch I have to tell you something,"

He was still upset about the Run Joey Run thing, and I could only hope he would forgive me. The morning went by rather quickly and at lunch I had two choices I could go to the glee meeting or to see Jesse. I chose glee and began to make my way to the choir room, but of course my luck wasn't with me today, as I walked straight into Jesse. "What are you doing," he spat. "Outside is that way,"  
"I'm going to the glee meeting I am co-captain after all," I said.  
"What are you disobeying me," he said.

"Excuse me," I said. "Since where you my father I am not your child that you can boss around I am your girlfriend, but obviously that doesn't mean anything to you so guess what we are through,"  
"Oh no you don't," he said. "You don't get to dump me, I am Jesse St James,"  
"Yeah, but in the glee club there is only room for one star and that my friend is me," I said.  
"No it isn't," said a voice.  
"We were having a meeting to decide whether or not to kick you out, and we thought we should give you a chance to turn up, obviously you had more important things to do, so you're out," said Quinn.  
"I told you Rach, you're time as a 'star' or whatever fantasy you have is now up," said Mercedes.

"Now get out of our way," said Kurt. "Oh and by the way you might want to get a new outfit, cuz that one will need to be taken to the dry cleaners," I felt the familiar cold ice cover me from head to toe, but what hurt was that it came from the people I had considered my family. The only good thing was that I saw regret in Noah and Britanny's eyes, and in Artie and Tina's eyes. "Come on guys," and with that they all left.  
"Go and get yourself cleaned up and meet me outside fifteen minutes before school ends, if you don't you know what will happen," said Jesse darkly.

Once he had left I made my way to the bathroom and began to clean myself up. "Rach," said a gentle voice. "I'm so sorry," Brit made her way towards me. "Let me help,"  
"Thank you," I said. "I was coming to the glee meeting you know,"  
"You were," she said.  
"Yes but Jesse got to me first, I dumped him," I said.  
"Oh god, why didn't you say anything," she said.  
"None of you gave me the chance too," I said.

"Rach what is that on your face," she said.  
"Nothing," I said.  
"Bull shit," she said. "Who did that to you, was it Jesse,"  
"No," I said. "Well today it wasn't, it was my dad," and the tears I had been trying to suppress broke free and Brit pulled me into a hug. I sobbed finally letting my feelings out.  
"How long have you been hiding all this," she said.  
"Four months," I said. "Jesse was the one who started it, but since my daddy left, my dad has been taking out his anger on me,"

"Come to glee later," she said. "You need to tell them, I'm sure they would forgive you and I know that Puck misses you,"  
"He does," I said.  
"Of course he does," she said. "You've known him for a while haven't you,"  
"Yeah since we were in kindergarten but our friendship frayed when we came to high school," I said.  
"Well if he knew this had been going on he would have got rid of Jesse for you," she said. The bell rang signalling the end of lunch. "Right well I'll be off, come to glee Rach,"

"I will," I said. For the rest of the day people left me alone, I did however get quite a few glares from the glee club, but I didn't look at them for long enough. Last period came and I decided to skip it altogether, not something I had ever done but I couldn't help but worry about what Jesse was going to do. As it came closer to the last fifteen minutes I slowly made my way towards the doors, the feeling in my gut telling that this wouldn't be good.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I opened the doors and as soon as I stepped outside I felt hands grab me and pull me towards the bicycle shed which was empty, I began to panic. "Let me go please," I said trying to get their hands off me but of course they were much stronger than me. Once the door closed I was subjected to the most brutal attack I had ever been through. I was kicked, punched and scratched from head to toe and then to make it worse Jesse and some other guys appeared.

"Okay guys that's enough," he said. "Now Rach, you remember when you and I attempted to have sex," My heart began to beat ten to the dozen, surely Jesse wasn't going to rape me in front of all these people. "Well you told me that you weren't ready, well guess what you're going to be ready now," he said. I tried to scream out but one of the guys put a hand over my mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the pain as Jesse took away my dignity and virtue. "I bet you secretly enjoyed that, I know we all did," he said. "Now we'll be seeing you at Regionals," and with that they left.

As soon as they left I began sobbing, what had I done to deserve any of this, the bullying, the beatings, the rape, was I really that bad a person. Sure I liked the spotlight, but I had thought people accepted that. It was then that I heard my phone ringing. I didn't answer it, but then it began ringing again. I decided to answer it. "Hello," I said.  
"Rachel, this is Miss Pillsbury, I'm just calling to see if you are okay, you missed you last lesson," she said.  
"No I'm not okay," I said. "I need help, I'm in the bike shed,"  
"What are you doing in there," she said. "I thought you drove to school,"

"I've been raped," I said. "And beaten and I think the door is locked,"  
"Oh god do you need clothes," she said.  
"Yes," I said. "Mine have blood on them,"  
"Okay Rachel, I'm coming to you I just need to get the key off Mr Schu, is it okay if he comes with me," she said.  
"Yes, I know he won't hurt me," I said.  
"Okay I'll be there in a few minutes Rachel you're going to be okay," she said.

Why is it when you are waiting for something it takes forever. A sudden knock at the door made me jump slightly. "Rachel, can we come in," said Miss Pillsbury.  
"Yes," I said. She opened the door and for a moment they just looked at me.  
"What on earth happened to you Rachel," she said. I couldn't stop the tears in my eyes from falling.  
"I was told by Jesse to meet him out here, some people brought me in here and beat me and then Jesse, he told me that I was now ready to sleep with him, I tried to scream out, but one of them put a hand on my mouth, and I the others held me down, he raped me and I couldn't do anything to stop it,"

"Rachel, he's in the glee room," said Mr Schu. "But I swear he won't be for much longer,"  
"Can you walk," said Miss Pillsbury.  
"I'm not sure, but probably not that well," I said wiping my eyes.  
"Rachel I'll help you into some clean clothes, whilst Mr Schu waits outside and then we'll take you to the glee room whilst we wait for the police is that okay," she said.  
"Yes, thank you for doing this," I said.  
"Rachel you're what holds the glee club together and I know things have been a little hostile recently but I can't help but think that Jesse had a lot to do with that," he said.

Miss Pillsbury put gave me some sweats and a long sleeved sweater and put my clothes into a bag, "The police will need these," she said. "Rachel has he hurt you before,"  
"Yes, but not nearly as bad as that, I get it at home too," I said. "Ever since my daddy left, my dad has been taking out his anger on me,"  
"Oh Rachel, I'm sure you need a hug right now," she said. She hugged me careful not to squeeze to tight because of the bruising.  
"Come on the glee kids will be waiting," said Mr Schu.

"Do they still want me," I said. "They kicked me out today,"  
"They did what," he said.  
"It doesn't matter now, but I'm just scared they'll be angry," I said.  
"Yeah they will be, but not with you," said Mr Schu. He went into Figgin's office, and got him to call the police and to come with him so that they could keep Jesse there until they arrived. Once we got to the choir room, it all kicked off.

Miss Pillsbury took me to the showers and helped me get rid of the blood. And then we heard it all getting loud in the choir room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Right you out of here now," Mr Schu said angrily.  
"What why he hasn't done anything," said Kurt.  
"Oh he has," Mr Schu said. "What did you do last period Jesse, cuz I didn't see you,"  
"I had a headache I went to the nurse," he said.  
"Oh really," said Mr Schu. "You weren't in the bike shed with your friends,"  
"What has she told you," Jesse spat. "What lies has she spun this time,"

"Rachel are you okay to go in there," said Miss Pillsbury.  
"Yes I'll be fine," I said.  
"She's probably just trying to get attention again Mr Schu, and anyway she's not part of this group anymore," said Kurt.  
"Hey we didn't all agree to that," said Noah. "I didn't, and we didn't even give her a chance to say anything earlier,"  
"That's beside the point guys," said Mr Schu. "Mr Figgins take him to your office, and keep him there until the police arrive,"

"What has he done Mr Schu," said Brit. "Has he hit her again,"  
"I'm afraid it's worse than that Brit," he said. "Rachel come on in, no one will hurt you, Jesse has gone,"  
I slowly walked into the room and heard gasps. "What has he done to you," said Brit.  
"I did nothing," Jesse said as he came into the room.  
"If you did nothing Jesse then why have I just had to help clean away her blood," said Miss Pillsbury. "I swear if I see you again I will castrate you now get out of here,"

"Did he rape you," whispered Brit. I nodded. "OH my god,"  
"Right I'm going to kill him," said Noah.  
"We'll join you," said the rest of the group.  
"Guys, I want to beat the crap out of him too but we don't want to get into trouble now the police are on their way and I'm sure Rachel would want you here," he said.  
"We're so sorry Rach," said Noah. "Why didn't you come and tell us sooner,"  
"We hadn't been on speaking terms, and I was scared to tell anyone, he had threatened me into silence, as has my dad," I whispered.

"Your dad," said Noah. "What's he got to do with this,"  
"My dad's spilt up a couple of months ago, and my dad has been taking his anger out on me," I said.  
"No wonder it was only you and your dad at temple, the other day," said Noah. "Your dad gonna be home tonight,"  
"I don't know, but probably not," I said. "He goes out drinking most nights,"  
"Well you can come and stay with me, and don't worry about my mom you know how much she loves you," he said.  
"I know, thank you Noah," I said. "I guess it will be like old times,"  
"Yeah, but I'm not watching any musicals this time," he said.  
"We'll see about that, I can be pretty convincing," I said.  
"Yeah and don't I know it," he said.

"Miss Berry," said Mr Figgins, "The police have arrested Jesse, and they want to speak to you,"  
"Can everyone in here stay," I said.  
"They weren't involved," said a police officer.  
"Do you think she would be in here with us if we were," said Noah.  
"Noah calm down," I said. "No sir they weren't they are my friends,"  
"Okay, can you tell us what happened," said a female officer.

"I broke up with Jesse today at lunch, he had been hurting me and controlling me and I'd had enough," I said slowly. "He turned my friends here against me and got angry if I demanded a solo, so in the end I gave up, but anyway, he's been upset for a while about the Run Joey Run incident," I quickly explained what that was.  
"Okay so what happened today," said the male officer.  
"Jesse had told me that I couldn't go to a glee meeting at lunch, but I had decided to go," I said. "But before I could get there he found me, I told him that it was over between us. He told me that he wanted to see me fifteen minutes before the end of school and that I had to turn up. I wish I hadn't but I was scared that if I didn't it would have been worse,"

"My nerves got the better of me and I decided to skip last period I didn't want to draw suspicion leaving fifteen minutes before and not returning," I said. "Anyway as soon as I got outside some guys got a hold of me, I don't know who they were, and I pleaded with them to let me go, but of course they were stronger than me, anyway they took me into the bike shed and the rest of the group proceeded to hit me, kick me scratch me, and when I thought it couldn't get any worse Jesse appeared," I stopped to wipe a tear away and Noah squeezed my hand gently.

"At first I thought that he had grown a conscience but of course he hadn't. He mentioned the time when we had attempted to sleep together before," I said. "But I had refused that time, back then I wasn't ready, that was what I had told him and I still stand by that. Anyway he told me that I was ready now, and I began to panic, I couldn't believe that he would try it in front of all these people, I tried to scream out, but one of them put their hands over my mouth and the others held my legs and arms down and I couldn't get free," I choked out.

"The pain was bad, and I tried my hardest to block it out, he took the one thing I had left," I said. "I had hoped my first time would be special, but of course it wasn't, it was over quickly and then he and his friends left with him telling me he would be seeing me at Regionals," I was crying as I had finished telling them and Noah had his arm around me.  
"Okay Rachel, I can see how difficult that was for you," said the female officer, "I'll just talk with your teachers here and then we'll take you to a hospital to check for internal damage, and possible pregnancy,"

"That won't be a problem," I said. "I can't have children, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries about a year ago,"  
"Okay well you will need stitches for that cut on your face and any other injuries will need to be looked at," she said.  
"Rach, we're all here for you," said Noah. "I swear if I see him I'll kill him, and the other people I don't care if they were girls,"  
"Not that I condone violence but thank you for the offer," I said smiling slightly.

"Plus Regionals is in two weeks, and we need you to help us win it," said Quinn.  
"I haven't sung in a while," I said. "But I would like to do so again,"  
"God he really messed you up," said Mercedes.  
"Yeah, him and my dad," I said. "I have no idea where my daddy is though he doesn't answer any of my calls,"  
"Yeah they tend to do that," Noah muttered. I squeezed his hand slightly and he smiled.

"Miss Berry, we've arrested Jesse, and it's time for you to go to the hospital," said the female officer.  
"Can we come with her," said Brit.  
"Of course," she said. "One of you will probably have to drive her,"  
"I will," said Noah. He walked with me to his truck and gently helped me into it, even strapping me in. The engine roared into life and we pulled out of the car lot and onto the road.

It was quiet for the first few minutes, he broke it. "Rach, why didn't you come and tell me, about the abuse," he said.  
"I guess I didn't want to accept that it was happening and you've got enough on your plate with your sister, how is she," I said.  
"Not good," he said quietly. "We may see her actually,"  
"I'd like that," I said. "How's things with Quinn, is she going to let you be the father,"  
"No," he said. "I've given her money and everything but she's not accepting it, I haven't even told my ma yet,"  
"I think I can guess why," I said.  
"Yeah I do want to stay among the living," he said with a chuckle.

We arrived at the hospital and the female police officer was there waiting for us. The rest of the glee club also arrived. We sat in the waiting room, in silence, "There's that awkward silence again," I whispered to Noah causing us both to burst out laughing. They looked at us as if we were insane. "It's a thing from when we were younger, once at Temple, it was really quiet, and you know those moments where you shouldn't laugh, well we did," I said.  
"Rachel Berry laughing at inappropriate moments who would have thought it," said Kurt sneeringly.

He got glared at by the rest of the club and was quiet after that. "Miss Berry," said a doctor. "We're ready to see you now,"  
"He will have to stay outside," the doctor said.  
"He can stay, I don't mind," I said. The doctor led us down towards another room and began his examination. He stitched up the cut on my cheek and the one on my arm. "The bruising should go down within the next week or so, okay time for the internal exam,"  
"Do you still want me to stay," Noah said.  
"You can stay," I said. "Just stay near my head," trying to make light of the situation.

"Okay Rachel, everything seems fine there is no permanent damage just some bruising and some cuts which I'll stitch up for you, it will be painful for you to sit down but you won't pull the stitches if you do," he said. He stitched me up and then I was all set. "You are a very brave girl Rachel," he said. "I hope he gets what is coming to him,"  
"Oh he will," said Noah. "If he doesn't go to jail, I'll go after him and beat the shit out of him,"  
"You are very lucky Rachel to have a friend like him," said the doctor.  
"I know, he is wonderful," I said blushing slightly.

I could walk a little better now so Noah simply had an arm around me. "We'll see everyone else and then you can come with me and see my sister is that alright," he said.  
"Of course," I said. I knew he needed me as much as I needed him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Hey Rach," said Brit as we came back to the waiting room. "You okay,"  
"I'm good, I've been stitched up and everything, there is no permanent damage," I said. "Which is good,"  
"And there's no way you could be pregnant," she said.  
"No Brit, I can't have children," I said.  
"That's too bad," she said.  
"I've accepted it now and once I'm old enough I can always adopt," I said.

"Okay guys," said Mr Schu, "It's time to go home, I'm sure all your parents are worried,"  
"Puck, Rachel are you coming," he said.  
"No sir we have something we need to do first," said Noah.  
"Okay well I'll see you at school if you're coming that is," he said.  
"Yeah I'm coming," I said. "I don't want to miss anything important," I followed Noah to the ward that his sister was on and she was sat in the corner with a sad look on her face.

I hadn't seen her for a while and she looked so much different from then, her hair had all gone now and she looked so weak, like it was a struggle just to simply breath and move. "Hey Abbie," said Noah. "Look who's here to see you,"  
"Rachel," she said, smiling brightly.  
"Hey Abbie, I've missed you," I said.  
"Me too, Noah hasn't shut up about you, and I've been thinking is he going to bring you soon," she said. "Noah what a surprise," said a voice.  
"Hey ma," he said.  
"What are you doing here I wasn't aware this was on your to do list," she said.  
"I've been coming here every day," he said angrily. "And in answer to your question, Rachel had to come to hospital,"  
"Rachel, my goodness what happened to you," she said.

"Long story, not for small ears," I said.  
"You mean you were..." she mouthed the word raped and I nodded.  
"Oh you poor dear," she said.  
"Ma can Rachel stay at ours tonight," said Noah. "Her dad hasn't been the best either, and I don't want her going back home alone,"  
"She can stay for a few days," said his mom.  
"Thank you Mrs Puckerman I really appreciate it," I said.

"It's not a problem Rachel, maybe you can sort my son out," she said somewhat bitterly.  
"Okay, well we'll be going then ma see you later," said Noah. I walked with him to his truck and got inside. "Do you want to go to your house and pick up some clothes,"  
"Yes that would be wise I suppose," I said. "I want to thank you Noah for what you have done today,"  
"Anyone would have done it," he said. "But you're welcome," The silence was a little overwhelming after that, I didn't want to ask about his sister, but I was curious. I put the radio on smiled, Sweet Caroline began playing. "I think that Neil Diamond met his match when you sang it," I said.  
"Of course I mean it was me singing," Noah said smirking.  
"I've just inflated your head even more," I said laughing.  
"You wanna talk about egos look at you," he said laughing too.

"Okay I'll be nice and give you that one," I said.  
"I'm sorry did I just hear that," he said. "Rachel Berry admitting she has a huge ego,"  
"I said I would be nice but that doesn't mean I won't be next time," I said.  
"So Regionals is in two weeks," he said.  
"Yes," I said. "I have no idea what I'm going to do about that, I haven't sang for a while now,"  
"I tell you if I see Jesse he is a dead man," said Noah angrily.

"As much as I appreciate that," I said. "I don't think I'd want you ending up in prison, I would miss you,"  
"I'd miss you too," he said very quietly. "You somehow keep me sane,"  
"Well that's one good thing I have then," I said.  
"Okay here we are," he said.  
"Do you want to come in," I said. "I don't want to go in there alone in case my dad is there," He nodded and followed me inside.

I went up to my room and put some clothes in a bag and grabbed my toothbrush, make up and everything else I needed. "Okay I'm ready let's go," I said, I found him looking at a photo of us when we were much younger, before we entered high school.  
"I miss this," he said. "You know when we could be just Rachel and Noah, no labels, no one judging us,"  
"I miss it too," I said. "But that doesn't mean we can't do it again now, I mean it would be nice if we could talk outside of glee,"  
"Yeah it would," he said. "Okay let's get going,"

"I haven't been to your house for a while," I said.  
"Well it hasn't changed much," he said. "My room is still a mess, but if you don't mind you'll be staying in there since we don't want Abbie's room disturbed,"  
"Noah that's fine," I said. "I always stayed in your room before anyway. How is Abbie, I mean do they know when she'll be coming out,"  
"She won't be," he said. "They're running some tests later this week but they think it may be terminal now,"

"Do any of the glee kids know," I said softly.  
"No I don't know how to tell them," he said. "You are the only person I can talk to about things like this,"  
"I'm glad I can be that person, but you should tell you're other friends," I said. "Or at least Mr Schue,"  
"I'm not ready for that yet," he said. "Anyway, come on let's go before I grow a vagina,"  
"Talking about feelings is not just for girls Noah," I said. "You shouldn't keep everything inside,"  
"I know I shouldn't but keeping it inside is easier," he said sadly. "I don't have to think about it then, and the pain disappears,"  
"Noah it's not healthy to bottle up how you feel," I said. "But I can see you don't want to talk at the moment, but when you do want to talk you know I'll be there,"  
"I know," he said. "Thanks Rach," I hugged him and he hugged me perhaps a little tighter than friends should, "What would I do without you,"  
"I could ask you the same thing," I said. "You're my best friend Noah,"  
"And you are my best friend," he said. "You have more brains, than Finn anyway, I still can't believe he fell for that Hot Tub story,"

"Yeah that does make one wonder," I said.  
"I'm thinking you're over him now," he said. "Seeing that you just agreed with me that he is a dumbass,"  
"Oh I got over him a long time ago," I said. "I did move onto someone else, but I wasn't sure he felt the same way, and then I met Jesse, so I could never have pursued that whilst he was around,"  
"Whoever it is will be lucky to have you," he said. "But remember as your best friend I have the right to beat the crap out of him if he treats you like crap," Now that would be a funny sight, I thought, Noah beating the crap out of himself.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

We got to his house a while later, and I felt a strange feeling of both sadness and happiness. I was happy because it hadn't changed a bit since I had last been here, it was my second home, but I was sad that Abbie wouldn't be bounding out of her room to greet me. "You hungry," he said.  
"Not really, but I know I've got to eat," I said.  
"How about an omelette then since it's not that heavy," he said.  
"That would be nice thanks," I said.

I sat down on his couch wincing as it was still so very sore. Ten minutes or so later he came in with the omelettes and we sat down eating in silence. "Awkward silence again," I said laughing.  
"I think my ma's home," he said, as we heard a car on the drive and the door shut. He was right as she came in some minutes later.  
"Oh Rachel you're here," she said, and from what I could tell she had been drinking.  
"Yeah ma," said Noah. "You said she could stay for a few days,"  
"Yes Noah, I know," she said bitterly.

"How much have you had this time ma," he said. I was surprised, this had happened before, it was not the image I associated with Deborah Puckerman.  
"Oh, not that much," she said. "Anyway, I'm an adult, I can do as I please,"  
"Yeah you're an adult," said Noah angrily. "But you're also a mom,"  
"Yeah with a dying daughter and a son who's barely home sleeps around and knocks up their best friends girlfriend," she said with disgust. "I mean how low is that,"  
"Who told you," said Noah.  
"Mrs Hudson," she said. "I swear Noah, I never thought you could get any lower," I saw the hurt flash in his eyes before he spoke again, putting his mask back up.  
"Ma, you're drunk we can talk about this in the morning," he said. "Come on let's get you to bed,"

He took her upstairs and I sat there stunned, the Puckerman family had been torn apart, and I had no idea how it would return to how it was. "Okay, I think it's time we went to bed," he said. I knew he was upset, but this was his way of dealing with things to act like it never happened.  
"Yeah it's been a long day," I said. I got changed into my pajamas in the bathroom and then made my way to Noah's bedroom. He was sat on the ledge by his window, not looking at anything in particular, but he looked up when he saw me. He turned the light off and got into his bed without saying a word.

I walked over to the camp bed that he must have set up whilst I was in the bathroom. I hadn't realised I'd been in there that long. I lay there for a while before falling asleep. The dreams that followed rocked me to my core. "Rach," I heard a voice, "Rach, wake up," I woke with a jolt and at first screamed as someone had their arms around me. He put his hand on my mouth,  
"It's me Rach," he said. "Noah,"  
"Noah," I said. "Oh god, I'm sorry," I immediately began crying onto his chest.  
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said softly. "I was waiting for you to let your feelings out,"  
"For the past few months I've been told it's a weakness to cry, although today I think it was partly due to shock," I said.  
"It's not a weakness to be upset," he said.  
"Then how come you haven't cried recently," I said.  
"I have but not in front of anyone," he said. "It's okay for girls, but guys are always brought up to believe it's wrong to admit their feelings about anything,"

"You know that I don't believe that," I said.  
"I know," he said. "I'm just scared,"  
"Of what," I said.  
"Everything," he said.  
"Tell me," I said. "I told you I'm here, if you want to talk,"  
"I want to I really do but that will make it real," he said.  
"Noah," I said. "Tell me," 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

**I keep forgetting to put this, but I don't own glee or any of the music. **

"When Abbie was diagnosed it was perhaps the worst day of my life, maybe even more worse than when dad walked out," he began. "She'd been sick for a while and I remember walking around like a zombie, I couldn't concentrate on anything. Mom started drinking almost as soon as we got the news. I was so angry with her for that, Abbie is in hospital fighting for her life being so brave about everything she's been through, and my mom's just given up,"

"You know my mom's never been the nicest of people, but even I never thought she could sink this low, I don't think she'll come out of this," he paused and I could vaguely see him wiping his face, I gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm fine," he said. "My baby girl is due in less than a month and I really don't want her to be adopted, but it's for the best since I have no money, I'm barely supporting myself, how can I support a baby, Quinn's convinced I'm a Lima Loser, she's not accepted any of my money,"

"It's like nothing in my life can go right," he whispered. "My sister's dying, my mom's an alcoholic and I have a baby on the way, a baby who's never going to know me, who'll think of me like I do of my father,"  
"No she won't Noah," I said. "Because you are nothing like your father,"  
"Rach, I have no one left, who gives a damn about me," he choked out. I reached up in the dark and put my hands on his face feeling the wetness he'd been able to hide.  
"Abbie, loves you Noah," I said. "Never forget that, and also you do have someone else, who cares about you,"  
"Who," he whispered.  
"Me," I said. "I care about you, and I'm going to be here for you like you are for me,"

I pulled him closer to me in a hug, but he was still so tense, "Noah, it's okay you can let go, I'm not going to let you go, ever," it took those words and the walls crumbled, I held him tighter as he finally gave into all the pain and hurt he's been through over the past few months. I didn't say much, words are sometimes not needed. Of course it wasn't over yet, but I hoped that letting out some of his feelings would help in the long run.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, and I felt safe and content. I had momentarily forgotten what had happened to me, for now it was just me and Noah, my best friend, and the man that I love. As we drifted off to sleep, I heard him whisper, "I love you Rach," I felt butterflies in my stomach, and whispered back,  
"I love you too," hoping that he would hear it. **  
**


End file.
